Your life is not on the line in Iraq…have the courage, the moral courage, to back our men and women serving in Iraq. Don’t get wobbly weak knees now.

If you disagree with President, then tell your reasons…but offer a better solution. Never, ever take away support for the military that is serving.

Radio talk show host Hugh Hewitt has come up with a pledge to take for those who are committed to the men and women serving in our military. Below is the pledge taken from Hugh’s website. Please also be sure to let your Republican Senators know your concerns…and the consequences if they go down a wrong road.

The Pledge

If the United States Senate passes a resolution, non-binding or otherwise, that criticizes the commitment of additional troops to Iraq that General Petraeus has asked for and that the president has pledged, and if the Senate does so after the testimony of General Petraeus on January 23 that such a resolution will be an encouragement to the enemy, I will not contribute to any Republican senator who voted for the resolution. Further, if any Republican senator who votes for such a resolution is a candidate for re-election in 2008, I will not contribute to the National Republican Senatorial Committee unless the Chairman of that Committee, Senator Ensign, commits in writing that none of the funds of the NRSC will go to support the re-election of any senator supporting the non-binding resolution.

Take the pledge, and tell the NRSC:

NRSC
Ronald Reagan Republican Center
425 2nd Street, NE
Washington, DC 20002
202.675.6000
webmaster@gopsenators.com

Then e-mail Senator McConnell and Senator Ensign, and tell them too. Senator McConnell's phone number is (202) 224-2541. Senator Ensign's phone number is (202) 224-6244.

GOP activists and donors built the GOP senate delegation, as well as the majority that was punted away. They can disassemble it as well, and GOP support for a neoappeasement resolution is exactly the way to start that process.

The Congressional GOP has to realize it cannot have it both ways --you can't be for victory after you were against it.

And GOP senators --alone or as a group-- definitely cannot count on the support of the base if any of them vote for appeasement.

Today…as I look at what he has accomplished over the years…he’s become one of my hero’s. The quiet kind…that live an ordinary life of excellence and perseverance. Not looking for applause or recognition…but someone who has a passion for excellence that he applies to everyday life.

Not to say that Mike is obsessive compulsive…but by golly when he does something it has to be done right. And when it’s not…it wouldn’t be unheard of to see Mike edit, correct, change, revise…or start all over again. Not just the big things like properly documenting an investigation, installing cameras or preparing an emergency manual. But things as simple as wrapping up a power cord to put in his well organized computer bag.

When it comes to training and showing people how to do it right…call on Mike. If you need a manual to aid in training…call Mike.

When I found myself ready to pull my hair out…because a less than conscientious employee was turning in another sloppy report or file…I could always find an understanding soul to commiserate with when I talked to Mike.

After a while…we all just learned to accept these quirks as Mike just being Mike. I use to like to tease him and tell him we were going to get him therapy. But honestly…when I grow up…I want to have that same passion for excellence that Mike does.

I probably I realized how extraordinary Mike is when tragedy struck his family…leaving him as a single parent. Without hesitation…he stepped up to the plate. A devastating experience for anyone…but he committed himself to being the best dad that he could be to his beloved daughter. Through love…they got through it together…and still do.

You might think that one so neat, tidy and organized is way too serious. Let me assure you…that’s not so. Mike is a fun loving guy…and always appreciates a good joke. When you get the likes of Mike, Peter C. and Kris together…watch out. Add to that equation…the instigators Robert or Louis…you’d better take cover. You’re likely to be the next target of their latest joke!

Through all these years…Mike has had a deep desire to go into law enforcement. Ever since I first met him…I knew he’d make a great cop! If I ever turn to the dark side…and had to be arrested…I’d want to be arrested by Mike.

Not only is Mike a man of excellence…he is a practical soul. Leaving a company that you’ve been with for over twenty years…is not an easy decision. Even if it means pursuing your dream. Not a lot of folks have that kind of courage.

However…when our company was recently sold…Mike decided to make that leap. He decided to pursue his dream…and go into law enforcement. Not only do you have to apply…you have to undergo background checks and numerous tests to make sure you are fit to serve. So…after he applied…then came the waiting game. After many months…I was so excited when Mike shared the good news…that he had been accepted into the Sheriff’s program.

Then came the hard part…many weeks of training. Lots of folks enter the program…but not all finish. It’s a tough program that weeds out those aren’t able to cut it…or decide it’s not their cup of tea. Mike’s a practical man…and did not over estimate his chances of success. He knew he had a tough road to hoe…but took it one day at a time.

This week I received a note that Mike is graduating from the Sheriff’s Academy and will begin working in the field he’s aspired to for ever so long. Timing is everything…and unfortunately…I won’t be able to attend the ceremony. But I’ll tell you…I’ll be there in spirit and bursting in pride for this man who is my friend and my hero.

Phrases like…simply the best…seem contrived and over the top. But when you hold that phrase up to the pattern of Mike…it’s a very close match.

Chuck Obremski "Chaplain Runs the Longest Mile Home"

Randy Clark from TBN recently posted this video clip from an interview that he did with my beloved former Pastor Chuck Obremski. He conducted the interview shortly before Chuck died and went to be with Jesus in heaven. (Please click on the above link to watch the interview.)

When I listen to this interview…I’m reminded about what made Chuck’s testimony and witness so powerful. It was the words of a man who had preached God’s word for over 20 years…now living it out…to the end of his life what he had preached, taught and believed with all his heart, mind, soul and strength.

In the crunch time…in the fiery furnace…through the power and strength of the Lord...he chose to trust God. Trust His character, believe His promises revealed in His Word, that God has a purpose and plan and that He is working all things together for good.

That did not come about by happenstance…but instead came about through study of God’s Word over many years.

When I look at other men and women whom I admire greatly…I see that same characteristic and action. Knowing God intimately through daily study and reading of His Word.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:

‘For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.’

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:28-39

I do believe that out of the entire Bible…if I could fully lay hold of these verses, comprehend them and live by them…they would transform my life. I’d say that this last year has taught me more about the truth of these verses in a more personal way…than ever before. As I reflect back…I now know God in a more personal way…as He stood with me and walked with me through every trepid and lonely step.

I must confess that many a time during this process…I did not feel His presence or His ever present help in times of trouble. But looking back at the wake my ship that sailed…I can see God’s presence and help along the way.

At times…the seas I sailed on were stormy and tumultuous and at other times peaceful and smooth as glass. There were many days…that felt like torpedoes…one after another were coming my way. Little did I know it but my lifeboat was at hand. Many a time…I was resting comfortably and safely in it as the storm assailed my tiny boat. But the Master was at the helm.

At times…my ship sailed ever so close to treacherous shoreline…when the storm threatened to dash my ship upon the rocks. However…oh Captain, my Captain with ease brought me safe into a calm harbor.

I found two questions in this week’s lesson most compelling. 1) We were to read through chapter 8 of Romans and tell which two statements we most wanted to remember and why? 2) What difficulty has Christ’s love helped us to conquer this year?

Reviewing chapter 8 and writing my responses…was both moving and difficult in the fact that it brought back painful times in my very recent past.

To the first question…there were two scripture verses that stood out to me the most.

“If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31b

The obvious answer is that if God is for us…it is insignificant and it pales in comparison who stand against us…because God and His love is so powerful. In essence their opposition amounts to nothing. As much as some stood against me…more so, there were those people who did not stand with me. Even in that…I had the one Person…the One who matters most that stood and remains standing in my corner. He never left me, nor forsook me.

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” – Romans 8:18

It surprised me that this scripture verse meant a lot to me when reading chapter 8 this year. Normally vs. 8:28 is my favorite. In fact I consider it my life verse:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

But right now…verse 18 means a lot to me. To know that even though my present burdens seem very heavy that one day…I will look back and see that they were very light indeed. That God will repay me more than I can ever imagine or deserve for the troubles I’ve endured.

To the second question…what has Christ’s love helped me to conquer this year? Well…I guess all of the above is what He helped me to conquer. That which a year ago…I could never have imagined and I am most grateful to have not known beforehand was coming my way.

In some respects…it kind of scares me…because I know today is preparation for tomorrow. These recent difficulties were meant to help me grow stronger and prepare me for tomorrow.

That is why it is essential that I be rooted and grounded in the Word of God and be ever mindful of His work and presence in my life.

If any of you are in need of a good, strong, foundational Bible study…I would highly recommend Bible Study Fellowship. You will grow in wisdom and knowledge through God’s Word…and you will know God in a more personal way through the study of His word.

“But without faith it is impossible to please and be satisfactory to Him. For whoever would come near to God must [necessarily] believe that God exists and that He is the rewarder of those who earnestly and diligently seek Him [out].” – Hebrews 11:6 Amplified Bible

Now I’m not exactly sure when I developed this irrational fear of dentists. It seems that for as long as I can remember…I was terrified at the thought of going to the dentist. My mind knows they are good folks, in a noble profession, helping people in an important area of health. Not only health…but personal appearance…which effects emotional health and confidence in oneself.

But my emotions…they told a different story. My emotions said that dentists are glorified Nazis. Not nice folks…ones that like to inflict pain upon people. So where exactly did that come from? Coming from a girl that thinks too much…I thought about it.

I know I went to the dentist as kid. I had a few filings in my youth…but I have no recollection…good or bad, one way or the other. But what I do recall quite clearly is the orthodontist. I think I got braces when I was 11 or 12 years old. It wasn’t my idea or desire…but that of my parents. They wanted me to have braces because I had an overbite. So the adventure began with the unwilling and unhappy participant.

It was not a pretty time in my life. My dad had died a year or two earlier…and my mom Gayle and me had moved to California where we lived in a two bedroom apartment in Santa Ana. An occasional resident was my brother Michael. Living not too far from us in Garden Grove were my grandparents Mary and Henry. I was in another new school, a new state, and had to make friends all over again. (On a side note…by time I was ten years old…our family had moved ten times. Not fun…and explains a lot on why I have problems connecting.)

My mom had started back in school to become a nurse. All the while she was married to my dad Frank she had been a stay at home mom. Now she was back to square one…and made the leap to become a nurse.

It was sometime during that year that I got braces. Like I said earlier…not my choice. While it was a long time ago…I think I made monthly trips to the orthodontist…to undergo monthly torture. Unlike other dental procedures…the orthodontist in that day and time worked on my teeth without any painkiller. For those of you who had braces…you know full well the pain I’m referring to…the regular tightening of braces. Not only hurting during the dental appointment…but a pain that remained for several days as my teeth were adjusted.

As an adult…I would approach that pain by taking a couple Tylenol for a few days…but as a kid…I was clueless. Nary a word was said by the orthodontist about the pain. I think I had those bloody braces on for three or four years. Each appointment…my grandmother would pick me up from school and drive me to the doctor. She was filling in the gap and helping out while my mom was busy with her school work. Grandma and me weren’t close at all…cut out of very different cloth. But my grandfather was very sweet and precious.

My mom was not overly maternal…and one thing that I find odd especially considering that she was a nurse is other than the orthodontist…I didn’t have doctor appointments or dental appointments for teeth cleaning and examinations. It wasn’t a money thing or for lack of insurance…just one of those odd unexplainable thing.

So the only think I can come up to account for this irrational fear of dentists relates back to the orthodontist. I have only negative memories and pain associated with dental appointments. Those negative memories and impressions made for very poor choices in my dental future.

When I became an adult and was responsible for my own health care I avoided both doctors and dentists. It was about 10 years ago that I ventured to the dentist for an examine and teeth cleaning. The appointment only added to my negative impression of the dental profession. So rather than sucking it up…and doing the right thing…I avoided dentists again for far too many years…once again. If I had been able to avoid the little buggers until death…that would have been fine with me.

But God had a different plan. That plan included some painful encouragement that now was the time I needed to see a dentist. I’m one heck of a stubborn son of a gun. I dig my heals in and will persevere through so much…actually too much if the truth be told. But God got my attention in this last summer.

A summer filled with much stress due to job changes. In the middle of that stress was the month of August…which turned out to be a blur for me. For most of August…I was in intense pain…excruciating jaw pain. Precious little brought relief. My days were consumed with finding something, anything to bring pain relief. My wisdom teeth were on the move again. I was taking a blend of Tylenol and Alieve every four hours to bring the pain down to a tolerable level. Sleepless nights…and prayers crying out for relief did little to quell the pain. Finally I sent off a prayer request to Kindred’s prayer team. Shortly after sending the prayer request God in His mercy did lower the pain. Things remained the same for couple more weeks…and then finally relief…for which I was ever so grateful.

After reading some of my blog entries during that time…my sister Denise Silvestri called me to encourage me to make a dentist appointment. She said it was crazy to put myself through that pain needlessly. Being a mom…she’s rather adept at the good old maternal guilt and pressure. I think her winning argument was, “Susan…you jaw is very close to your brain. If you have an infection…it could go into your brain.” Between Denise’s argument and the occasional reminder of a twinge of pain…I bit the bullet and made an appointment with the dentist.

When you don’t already have dentist…it’s kind of like a stab in the dark finding a good one. But God’s hand guided me. The dentist I selected was Vaughn Stewart in Brea. Close by to work and home…so going to appointments would be relatively easy.

On my first appointment I advised Dr. Stewart and his staff that I was terrified of dentists and a certified dental wimp. They assured me that they understood and would tread lightly…and use Novocain as needed.

The month of September started me on the adventure that would bring my smile back. Over the next few months I would have many appointments…starting with an examine and X-rays to see where I was at dental wise. After that I moved on to teeth cleaning and received the bad news that I needed the dreaded “root canal”. Also lined up were fillings for new cavities and replacing the old mercury amalgam fillings with porcelain. Also on the horizon was having my wisdom teeth removed at the age of 47.

Well I got through the appointments one by one. Now I don’t know if Dr. Stewart is the exception to the rule…or dental procedures have advanced greatly over the year…but as bad as I thought it was going to be…all in all it was relatively simple. While not entirely pain free…it very tolerable. Novocain took care of the pain during the actual procedures…and a few Tylenol afterward kept any pain manageable.

Even the dreaded root canal was not so bad. One of the gentlemen at church, Les Nesbitt, called with a recommendation for an endodontist, Dr. Merrill Schmidt in Santa Ana. While not the first experience I’d want to sign up for…if you are in need of a root canal…I would highly recommend this doctor.

As the months ticketed by…I got the fillings taken care of as well as the root canal. As I neared the end of my treatment plan…I got two porcelain crowns. While all of this wasn’t cheep…I was ever so grateful to finally get it taken care of and for the provision of dental insurance which helped ease the financial pain. The one thing that remained was the removal of my wisdom teeth. Out of all of these procedures…I feared this one the most. Good golly…I’m 47 years old…who in their right mind gets their wisdom teeth removed at that age? Namely…me.

Early on in this process when Denise was putting the pressure on to go to the dentist…she had an excellent recommendation for an oral surgeon. Dr. Kim DiPasquale was the doctor who had removed her children’s wisdom teeth…and Denise gave him a thumbs up. In December…God gave me a gentle reminder of pain to spur me on to make that final appointment. All it took was that one painful reminder…and I called that day to make the appointment.

Everyone hears horror stories on removal of wisdom teeth. While I wasn’t looking forward to the appointment…I was looking forward to the knowledge that never again would those third molars bring me any more pain.

Well today was that fateful day. I scheduled a couple of days off work…for the appointment and recovery time. As the day approached…I was a titch nervous…but kept my focus on the other side of the pain. My partner in crime was Denise who had committed to taking to and from the appointment.

All in all…12 hours later after the appointment I am ever so glad I had them removed. They gave me some darn good drugs…and you don’t feel a thing or have a clue what’s going on during the procedure. You wake up and it’s done…with relatively little pain or discomfort. What’s amazing is how quick the procedure is. I was in and out of the office in a little over an hour. And the X-ray machine…way cool. You rest your chin and the machine does a panoramic scan around your head/jaw. Medicine continues to advance…to the benefit of doctors and patients.

It’s a done deal now…no more pain from wisdom teeth. The bleeding stopped after a few hours…I’ll be rinsing with salt water for the next few day, taking it a little easy and eating lightly as I recover.

I have a couple of brief follow up appointments. One with the oral surgeon…and one vanity appointment for teeth whiting with my dentist.

In the future when I get those reminder calls from my dentist…I won’t hesitate to come in for a check up and teeth cleaning. If low and behold I have to have a filling…I know it’s not a big of deal. After going through all these dental appointments over the last four months…I’m more committed to better dental care. That includes not only brushing my teeth in the morning and evening…but even packing a toothbrush and toothpaste to work so I can take care of my teeth after lunch. Heck…Dr. Stewart even got me on the flossing band wagon.

These days you won’t find me cupping my jaw because of pain. You won’t find me avoiding the dentist…and you won’t find me keeping my smile in check because teeth don’t look to spiffy.

Now when I smile…I’m not worried how my teeth will look. By golly that feels so good…more than you’ll ever know. Earlier I had mentioned that how your teeth look affects your personal appearance and confidence level. I know that up close and personal.

That’s the journey…on how Susan got her smile back.

My thanks to God…for His patience and helping me to get through that which I greatly feared. Thank you to Denise for her no nonsense encouragement to do the right thing…and be there to take me to oral surgeon. Thank you to Kindred’s Prayer Warriors…for praying me through. Thank you God for the provision of dental insurance. Thank you to my employer for their understanding and allowing me to keep those doctor’s appointments over these many months.

Thank you to Dr. Stewart, Dr. Schmidt and Dr. DiPasquale and their respective staff…for your excellent work…and getting me through that which I could not have imagined…with kindness, gentleness and concern.

One last note…I’ve decided if I turn to the “dark side” and do something which merits the death penalty…I’m opting for the lethal injection. Those drugs today…that put me to sleep…the only way to go!

Since I’m relatively well grounded in my study of the Bible (through Bible Study Fellowship and great Bible teaching from Chuck Obremski, Charles Stanley, Chuck Smith, David Hocking, etc.), I felt convicted to some degree and made the decision to remove the link. After all I didn’t want to lead astray anyone, young in their Christian faith, who may not be very discerning or rooted and grounded in Biblical doctrine.

Probably about that time…I thought to myself, “Gee wiz…perhaps I ought not to be listening to Joyce either.” Time went on…before I knew it my scheduled had changed and I was not able to listen to Joyce’s program while I got ready for work in the morning. But I kind of had that nagging feeling that in fact I did miss listening to Joyce Meyer’s program. Not because it made me feel good…or promised me much prosperity…but because Joyce’s teaching helped me to walk a better, everyday Christian walk. She offers some very practical advice on how to walk the Christian walk…even when it’s uncomfortable to do so.

Somewhere along the line…I discovered a post at Debra’s website As I See It Now in which she talked about being less concerned with what others thought was an acceptable or okay ministry and what wasn’t. She said that God is even able to use ministries whose doctrine may vary a bit. Debra never mentioned any names…so I’m not certain whom she was referring to. But after reading that…I felt convicted again…and the thought kept nagging at me. Perhaps I was being a hypocrite to so quickly jettison a ministry…a good Christian ministry that had help me to grow in my Christian walk…just because I had received some criticism. Criticism that was well meaning and even accurate in its concern on Biblical grounds.

One of the joys of having an I-Pod is subscribing to various podcasts…from political or secular shows to ministries. I love it…and it’s a wonderful way to keep informed, built up in the Word of God and educated. Recently…I subscribed to the Joyce Meyer radio show…and started listening to Joyce once again.

I’ve got to tell you…that there is something in that woman’s teaching which genuinely helps me to be a better Christian. In the practical, everyday walk of life…when I’m listening to Joyce Meyer’s program…I’m a better Christian. One, who trusts God more, is more willing to submit God and His plan in my life, to treat others better…even those who might not deserve it.

So at the end of the day…I can see plainly that I’m better for having listened to Joyce Meyer’s teaching.

Now for those Christians who are young in their faith I would counsel you to examine all Bible teachers’ messages against what the Bible says.

“Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.” – Acts 17:11

Part of me wanted to “hit back” emotionally. To let him feel the same sting of hurt that I felt. To pound home the point of how much his actions hurt.

However after sometime passed…I had to ask what does it really mean to say “I’ve lost all respect for you”? Is it just a one time only action (or lack thereof) that smashes a history of proven character over time? Unless we’re talking a serious moral breech…I don’t think so. I’m talking murder, molestation…theft…or something pretty big…yeah then I could see that. But the everyday actions of life…some good choices…some bad choices…probably not. That instead comes under the realm hurt or offence.

Perhaps letting the words rip “I’ve lost all respect for you” feels good in the moment…but in some respects it’s kind of lazy. I don’t have to think about what’s really bothering me. I don’t have to take the time or effort to explain what I’m feeling. And I don’t have to take the risk and expose myself and be vulnerable to someone who just hurt me. I don’t have to risk him saying…”I don’t care”…or worse yet, “Good, I’m glad I hurt your feelings…because I hate you!”

Depending on the person…that may not be a risk I want to take. But hopefully people I’m involved with are people who are emotionally safe.

When I realized that perhaps I had “overreacted” or was being overly critical…I started thinking about the word respect. Specifically holding up the magnifying glass of respect and seeing…did I really loose all respect? Or was something else going on?

What are some of the elements that make up the word RESPECT? Some that I came up with help define it or are elements are listed below. They are in no way definitive:

Responsible (Dependable)

Expectations (for oneself and others)

Steadfast (Persistent, Unwavering)

Purposeful (Focused, Determined)

Ethical (Knows he is accountable to God…and it effects/determines his actions and how and what he does it. Caring)

Character (Moral, Internal Consistency…he’s the same in all situations and with all people)

Truthful (Honest, no guile, real)

When I look at his actions…against the measuring stick of respect…in all honesty I can’t claim I’ve lost all respect. There might have been one or two of those elements that were breeched temporarily. But a history of proven character can’t just be thrown under the bus.

Have I “lost all respect”? No! Was I disappointed? Yes!

So that I might be consistent…in another situation when I hold up this same mirror of respect against the actions of another…I would say more of those elements were violated. In a way…I have lost respect. But even that instance is more accurately described as disappointment. A keen disappointment…but one more all encompassing over a period of time.

As New Years Eve approached I debated…should I send a letter? Should I reach out? , Say, “Hey…I know that you are a better person than that and I don’t want to “throw you away.” I knew exactly what I wanted to say. But at the end of the day I decided not to send the letter. Why? Because all other attempts to reach out were rebuffed. Even I…one who is slow on the uptake…gets it.

But at least I feel a release from the hurt of disappointment. My desire to send a letter told me that I was walking in forgiveness. My decision to not send a letter…was me walking in reality.

Can God work in the hearts and minds of people? Absolutely…He does everyday in my life.

Today was rich and filled with God Stops for me. Ones that ultimately challenged me, convicted me…and ultimately lead me to repentance. I have ever so hugely failed God in letting doubt and unbelief take hold of my emotions and thoughts with respect to all the changes in my life in the past year.

In so many respects…2006 was a year of great loss and disappointment…impacting my job, my mom, friends, family, physical pain and even my dear pets. It seems like so much of my life was touched.

In the crunch time…when push came to shove…all too often instead of trusting God when answers were not readily apparent…I fell into doubt and unbelief. I doubted that God really cared for me. I believed the lies of Satan.

When I reflect on different aspects of last year…I wonder how different things would have been if I had stood firm in my faith.

When I didn’t understand why I lost the job I loved and the actions of others…I could have trusted God, instead of doubting. Knowing that He had a purpose and plan. Take my hurt to God for His care and healing touch…rather than expect a person to make it all better. Be assured that none of this took Him by surprise. That He is calling me to something new. That He removed me and put a hedge of protection around me and He did not allow me to return for a reason. That I had allowed work to become too important to me. That instead I need to serve God with the same fervor that I served man.

Well today God gave me another insight into why He may have allowed these circumstances to transpire. Would He have revealed it sooner if I had trusted Him? Would I have not needed additional assurance if I had stood firm in my faith? This insight I think I’ll ponder in my heart rather than share it at this time.

Other areas of my life were touched this year as well…including my mom who suffers with Alzheimer’s was hospitalized twice. In the aloneness of that time when my brothers were absent as they have been for several years now…I was overwhelmed and felt resentful towards them. On a drive home one night after leaving the hospital…God mercifully revealed His hand of protection in their absence.

In so many of these circumstances…I would have far better weathered the storms that assailed me…if I had trusted God, His character, work, purpose and plan in my life. On occasion I got it right. For a while I did trust God and didn’t ask why. But when I failed to stand firm and trust God…boy oh boy did I fall.

So God…tonight…I humbly come before you and confess my sin of doubt and unbelief. I confess there are times that I didn’t trust you…or believe that you cared for me. I didn’t look closer to see Your hand in my circumstances…and know that there were bigger things going on.

I thank you that You are a God of second chances and can redeem even my failings and use them for Your Kingdom and glory. I thank You for Your hand of protection upon me and removing that which You determined necessary. I give over to You…a bundle feelings too numerous to mention…and too personal too share with the world. I thank You for giving me insight along the way as to why You allowed the circumstances I encountered. I thank You for the lessons I learned, what it revealed in others and me.

So God…what is it that You would have me to do now? Give me ears to hear I pray. Jesus…thank You for walking each step with me…and carrying me when I fell. PS…Jesus…please stay close by me…I’m quite certain I will fall and once again…and turn to Your precious hand to lift me up.

Some folks are very disciplined. They make a resolution…and by golly they keep it…no matter what. Then there are a lot of folks that desire to make change or self improvements. They start out with good intentions…but if by the end of January…they are still maintaining that commitment…it’s an unusual year. There are few folks out there that seemingly make no effort at self improvement whatsoever…and overwhelmingly succeed by staying the same year after year.

But this year…God laid it on my heart the desire
to read through the Bible in a year. Even for one who attends church weekly and is involved in Bible study…I find this commitment a little intimidating. It means that for the next year…I will need to plan and carve out time each day to fulfill this resolution. My days, like so many, are already filled to the brim and overflowing. Getting five hours sleep a night feels like a luxury. But mostly…I hate to fail.

Even with all the possibility of failure…or knowing that I may not live up to this commitment…I believe that reading through the Bible is important. So many people that I greatly admire are rooted and grounded in the Word of God. It’s central in their life. It’s transformed their lives and defined their character. God has been able to use them in a mighty way to make a difference for the kingdom of God.

What am I hoping to gain from this adventure?

• Keep God first and foremost and central in my life.
• Daily washing of the Word…washing my mind, heart and soul in the Word of God.
• Know God better…His character, attributes, mind and heart.
• It’s harder to sin when I know clearly what God defines as sin…what He hates and what He loves.
• When I do sin…I’ll be quicker to repent, ask for forgiveness and get back on the right track.
• Grow in wisdom and knowledge.
• Make better choices.
• See clearly God’s hand in the lives of His people…and His ability and desire to care for His people, transform them, change circumstances and even perform the miracles.
• See God’s hand in my everyday life…and comprehend that He cares for me.

So with some reservations that I might fail…I’ve decided to read through the Bible in 2007.

As if to confirm in my own mind that this is what God would have me do…one of the first callers on Dennis Prager’s radio show on New Years day…was a caller named Susan. This will be her eighth year in reading through the Bible. Dennis was encouraging callers by saying that it is important to make a resolution. Ideally in the areas of Health, Happiness and Character. He maintains that it is better to start and fail that to not try at all. Just to firm up my commitment…I called the Dennis Prager radio show while I was on my morning walk. I was able to get on the show and share my resolution. I was inspired by the earlier caller named Susan and comforted by Dennis’ assurance that it’s better to at least make an attempt then do nothing at all.

I’m also hoping that God will use the daily feeding of His Word in my newest venture “Susan’s God Stops”. What I’m hoping is that this will be a daily blog. With short entries recording God’s work and those times where I can plainly see God’s hand in my life. Perhaps as I record it daily…I will be more sensitive to, see and hear God in a more personal way in my life.

Or forgive the offender,
Whether repentant of their deed,
Or cold hearted and unresponsive.

To focus on the pain,
Feed a gloomy countenance,
That looms like a thundercloud overhead.

Or obey my heavenly Father’s command,
To forgive my fellow man,
That I too might be forgiven.

To believe the lies of the enemy,
Be controlled by that, which is temporary,
Fail to recognize that this too shall pass.

Or trust Jesus Christ my Savior,
Think upon that which is true, lovely and pure.
Seek that which is praiseworthy and of eternal value.

by Susan Bunts, December 18, 2006

This year has been not only a year of clarity…but one with many lessons in forgiveness.

I’m a pretty straight shooter in life…and when confronted with something that’s not right…I will likely speak my mind in a very direct manner. Not leave a lot of wiggle room. If I don’t speak my mind…then I hold onto that which bothered me and I can’t even look the person in the eye and I loose respect.

I don’t know quite what to do when I get no response. It’s hard…I’d prefer a response of “Go pound sand!” than to be ignored.

But when I’m met with silence…I have a choice. God calls me to forgive. My forgiving should not be dependant on someone acknowledging an offence, apologizing or if they choose to ignore me. If let my reaction and choice to forgive be dependant upon them…then I’m held hostage.

Instead my Father in heaven…has made it abundantly clear that I need to walk in present, everyday forgiveness. It is only by His strength and wisdom I can do that which goes against my nature…forgive.

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” – Matthew 18:21-22

Lately…I’ve experienced…in full living color the truth of a Dennis “Pragerism”.

“A bad mood or negative attitude is equivalent to bad breath or body odor.”

A negative, critical spirit can be just as offensive and lingering as bad body odor. An odor can be all pervasive and fill a room within seconds. Just think of popcorn in the microwave. Within a matter of seconds the smell drifts throughout the house and soon you’ll have company coming downstairs to help you polish off that bowl of warm buttered popcorn.

Or what about when you’re driving down the highway and that all too familiar smell of a skunk’s recent encounter with a foe comes drifting into your car. You can’t roll up the car windows fast enough and it does little good even if you try because you can’t shut that smell out. That not so lovely smell is already in the vehicle and permeates the air. You can’t escape it.

So too it is with a bad mood or critical, negative attitude. This is an offence of choice and something that can be controlled if we choose to do so. Or something that we choose to wallow in and inflict on others.

I’m not talking about that occasional bad day that we’ve all had. The one that starts out from the moment you get out of bed and stub your toe on the nightstand and follow it with a cold shower…because for some blessed reason the hot water heater decided to go out that day of all days!. Later heading out the door and you are short on time…that burnt toast will just have to do. But the last straw comes when you spill the hot coffee down that new white blouse. You are tempted to turn that car around and go home…pull the covers over your head and take the rest of the day off. Since you don’t have that luxury…you head into the office anyway. A quick stop in the bathroom helps you to repair your outfit…but that stop doesn’t do much to repair the stinky attitude you have that morning.

Now we’ve all had those “bad day”…and as humans…we need to allow others some leeway and understanding on a day like that.

The problem comes in when it’s not just a bad day…but a bad week, month, year, decade or lifetime. That person is miserable…and they are committed consciously or unconsciously…to making sure that everyone that comes in their path knows about it.

When something good happens to them…they find fault. They pick it apart…somehow, someway, something was wrong…or it’s just not good enough. Goodness knows…if a good thing happens to someone else…but not them…they will be sure to let you know. They don’t know the meaning of “rejoice with those who are rejoicing”. Instead they are indulging in their own not so private pity party.

It comes out in the snide remarks…examining under the microscope every little thing that comes out of another’s mouth and looking intently to find fault. It comes out in jealousy that is well disguised in the wrapping of criticism. It comes in the inability to be thankful or express gratitude for the good things. It comes in the form of thinking everyone is better off or has it easier than you do. It comes in the form of a willful blindness or myopic vision that chooses not to look at or focus on the blessings that God has provided.

That glum, negative, critical view is like a cloud that hangs overhead…keeping the rays of sunshine from breaking through. Not only for that person…but also those with whom they keep company. They are sharing the wealth. Gee wiz…thanks for sharing!

It’s very wearing, draining and tiring. You’re almost afraid to say anything good because you know that it will be followed by some put down or negative remark. So instead you choose to remain quite because there is nothing you can say that will make a difference…nothing you can do to make it better. Because for these folks…it’s not just a bad day…but instead the way they view the world and their life.

Make no mistake…it can be controlled. Think of the husband and wife having an argument that’s getting a little heated. The phone rings…and all of a sudden…someone is talking sweet as pie to the person calling on the phone. If you didn’t hear the quarrel before…you’d never know there was a problem.

So too the person with emotional BO can turn it off when they choose too and instead turn on the charm.

What they don’t realize is that person sitting across from them…has things pretty rough in their own life. But they have no idea…because that person chooses not to continually dwell on it or make sure that everyone in their path is aware of their misery. Instead they put on a smile and choose to be thankful for what they do have, focus on others and have a sense of humor about life.

Always being critical and negative takes no effort. It’s easy…the path of least resistance. Sometimes you need to be creative and willing to laugh at yourself and the world. That can take some work…to see the humor or find the good in a bad situation. But oh the rewards that await you.

You won’t be overwhelmed and pulled down by the difficulties inherent in living when you keep that sense of humor, look for the good in a situation and praise God for that which He has done for you.

So whether you live with the person who emits emotional BO…or have the challenge of working with them…or encounter them during your daily commute…it’s imperative that you don’t let they pity party and negative world view cast a shadow over you.

Instead shine the light upon them. Shine the light of gratitude and thanksgiving. Focus the light of humor on a situation…or turn on the high beams of always looking on the bright side. If nothing else…it may annoy them. I must say it is rather rewarding when you can deprive someone of the satisfaction they derive by bring everyone else down. To quote Martha Stewart…“It’s a good thing!”

When they want to rain on your parade…raise your umbrella and keep your eyes focused on that rainbow just across the way. Perhaps they could even use a prayer two uttered on their behalf.

Life is too bloody short to be continually focused on the negative. All you end up doing is multiplying your sorrows and making things worse. Now why would you want to do that?

P.S…you see even something good can come out of interacting with a person with emotional BO. It helped me to write an article…and also see clearly what I don’t want to be like.